There are many things to which a person can shape their child: to be a winner, to be a person who never gives up, to be an outstanding citizen, to be an intellectual, to be a person with confidence in themselves, to love sports, etc., etc. While these qualities may be good to some degree, they lack a Godward focus that captures the fullness of personhood God has intended for the crown of His creation. However, what believers need is a prophetic (biblical) vision for the shaping of their child's character in such a way that will not only mold them to have a heart after God, but also the character and habits that will enable them to live for God's glory in every area of life.
The last two weeks our pastor here in Ft. Worth, Tim Presson, has been preaching from Ephesians 6:1-4. During this emphasis on God's will for the home – particularly in bringing my children up in the Lord – it has been great fodder for crystallizing my biblical vision for their character. I have also been meditating on Proverbs 29:18 and the need for a clear understanding of the Word of God among His people.
So, what you see below is my vision for my children. There are many (specific) things missing (e.g., faith, purity, modesty, etc.). But, I believe the traits below encapsulate all other essential biblical qualities and character that mark genuine believers and that develop one into Christian maturity. Ultimately, my desire is to see my children become people who:
- Love God and His Word above all else (Matt 22:37; Psalm 40:8; John 14:26)
- Love others – especially the household of faith (and especially each other) (Matt 22:39; Rom 12:10; Gal 6:10)
- Have a right view of themselves; they are humble in their minds (Prov 3:7; Rom 12:3,16)
- Think Biblically and live according to God's wisdom (Prov 4:5-9; Rom 12:2; 2 Cor 10:5; Col 3:16)
- Hate sin and the world's system (James 4:4; 1 John 2:15-17; Jude 23)
- Respect authority (Eph 6:1-3; Rom 13:1)
- Are faithful and responsible (Prov 3:3-4; Prov 20:6; Prov 28:20; Prov 27:23)
- Are diligent and hard working (Prov 10:4; Prov 13:4; Rom 12:11, 2 Thess 2:10)
- Are self-disciplined and self-controlled (1 Cor 6:12, 9:24-27; 1 Tim 4:7)
- Have a serving and generous heart (Prov 3:9-10, 27-28; Rom 12:13; 1 Tim 6:18)
- Live a thankful and joyful life (Phil 4:4-6; 1 Thess 5:17-19)
- Live for God's glory (1 Cor 10:31; Col 3:17)
This kind of vision is not just one we should have for our children, but for ourselves and all believers. This kind of vision requires the right context and, particularly, the right character on the part of the parents. I will be speaking more on that in future posts. But, let us all pray that we will become the kind of people whose lives and souls are shaped by prophetic vision, for…
Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he. (Prov 29:18, KJV)
5 comments:
This is a great vision for ourselves and our children. I personally want to thank you for what appears to be a deep passion and commitment to the next generation. May your home always know the praise and glory of Christ.
I would only add one caveat. Include in the vision more direct references to Jesus Christ. I know He is implicit in the Scripture references, and I am sure He is explicit in your teaching and example, but to have Him also explicitly set forth in the wording of the vision gives clear indication of the exclusivity of His person and work in making this vision a reality.
Thanks again my brother. You are a great encouragement to me. And with your broke down achilles I am reminded why I play golf.
Peace.
Brother Q,
This is serious business. This is one of two things that keep me up at night. I pray that the vision I have for my boys is what God has for them. I have it in general (the Gospel) but the application can be a bit murky.
Pastor Tony,
The person and work of Christ is where I put my biggest emphasis. Not heroes of the bible or great charachters to pull inspiration from, but the Beauty of Chirst and His accomplished work on the cross applied to us for the forgiveness of sins.
I guess the biggest challenge is the balance between him having self confidence, without being prideful and not intruding on the doctrine of depravity. I want him to understand morality but not become a moralist. Or be a good guy without substituting that for biblical faith. On top of that, trying to model Christ without being self-righteous. A lot to think about.
Lionel, Tony...thanks for your comments brothers.
Tony, I appreciate that observation. Yes, you are right - Christ is implicit in it all but He Himself needs to be explicated in the vision. I should probably also add "a clear and thorough understanding of the Gospel as well."
(and I think I may be retiring to ping-pong soon!)
Lionel...we need more brothers who are burdened for their families...it is the burden of shepherd that will cause us to be faithful. The next generation has been to oft neglected by us and most of our churches are just trying to "keep our kids in church" - but our vision must be deeper and wider. It must be rooted in God's covenant plan for His people. The family has great place in the continuation of the generations God's people.
Blessings to you both.
Good stuff here!
Great observation regarding the balance, brother Lionel. Not only do we need to teach our kids which direction they need to go, but how to stay on the road without wavering to the right or the left. It's easy enough to say that we do this by keeping the focus on Christ, but so many misconstrue Him. His work on the cross besides paying the penalty for our sin is indeed the ultimate demonstration of sacrificial character that we are to emulate within our families, churches, communities and society at large.
This is my first time responding on this blog, but it right on time! The LORD has been dealing with me about "feeding HIS sheep", namely my wife and children. The Lord convicted me and the Holy Spirit brought a question to my mind and heart. Will my children grow up to fear the Lord by the process of osmosis or will it take intentional discipling of my children? And it was the latter that I was convicted that I needed to be doing.
While I was one who knew about having a vision for my family and children, the struggle was how to go about guiding my children that way. I know that it is not through childrens church or childrens groups but through fathers who take the biblical mandate given to us in Ephesians 6 and intentionally disciple our own children so they not only hear us teaching them God's word but so that they watch us live it!
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